Sanctified Pork and Shoe Fetishes

I'm really tired of it.  For a while, I listened to broadcast Christian music radio very regularly.  I'm back to more CDs than radio lately (early 2011).  Of course, that's not really a bad thing, since I've invested a fair amount of money in Christian music CDs.   My move from radio to CDs isn't for some vague, evasive reason, but for a trend which is really easy to identify.  I'm tired of the chick-flicky, anthemic songs and hissy, almost lisped, whining, mumbled, pouty, breathy vocals of way too many Christian singers recently.  Some female vocalists over-do the emotional breathy pouty stuff, but not nearly so much as too many males.

Sure, that effeminate male and other breathy, mumbled pouty stuff ministers to lots of people, but not to me.  I'm also guessing there's lots of other guys out there who share my opinion.  There's lots of women, too, who just don't like what they're hearing in Christian music.

C'mon you singers: sing it and pronounce it!  "I" is not "hi".  "You" is not "hugh" or "chew" or "jew" or "shoe".  "Do" is not "tzu" or "dzu".  "God" isn't "ngod".  "Please" isn't "blease" and "yeah" is not "sheah" or "djeah".  Quit singing like you got your mouths full of marbles or food you don't want to swallow!

Mr. West, "Honna wanna go through the motions" shouldn't be sung when you mean "I don't want to go through the motions."  Then Disciple sang "Honna wanna…" for "I'm the one who…"  Revive sings "mefore nunay mecomes a yes duh-day" for "before today becomes a yesterday".  Then someone breathily sings, "Hi surrender holy ham" for "I surrender all I am", or slurs out "shear you are down on your knees again" for "here you are…" and "sheah, sheah sheah" for "yeah yeah yeah".  "Another sings, "The only thing that matters is shoe love, shoe love…"  And we're to "Raise a shout, dzu let all the world know that Jesus saves."

So if anyone else doesn't like the soft and sweet, hissy, puppies and kitties and butterflies Christian music that's so popular, take heart!  There's lots more out there than what's often played on the radio.

My preferred musical styles when I started my hunt for the Good stuff was classic rock, blues rock, country rock and heavy rock.  Since my hunt, my likes have expanded, still quite surprisingly to me, into rap and hip-hop, bluegrass, some country, black and southern gospel, punk, speed metal, big band and more.  I'd be happy to help you find something you'll like to listen to.   Let me know if you want some recommendations.

New Musician?

I occasionally run across new musicians who want advice, encouragement, etc. I most-highly recommend the book, "Getting Started in Christian Music" Reed Arvin, editor. Then, I've got a few questions. hopefully the answers don't hurt.

Are you good? --not just in your opinion, but have others showered you with praise they didn't have to give? Parents and other family members don't count. I hate doing a review and having to come up with words like "young, enthusiastic performer" or "strong lyrics" --without mentioning the vocal quality, or "here's an artist who could one day..." and so on. Those imply the artist probably shouldn't seek a career in music, yet.

Is your work full of my pet peeves? Pronunciation is important! "I" is pronounced, "eye" and not "high". Don't be too breathy or slur your words. Be clear. "Hugh are my ngod" is not a suitable substitute or a good emotional way to say "You are my God." Melismata is another peeve of mine. I used to call it warbling until I learned the musical term. Melisma is the singing of multiple tones on one syllable. A little can be OK, but too often it's overdone as a means to show off an artist's voice. C'mon you guys, nobody likes a show-off.

Is it lyrically immature or cliche? I've heard this referred to as "love and above" songs. They're too predictable. Overuse of "perfect rhymes" can destroy an otherwise wonderful message. This is well covered in the book I referred to earlier, so I'll not pursue it here.

Don't let this get you all disappointed. There are lots of areas in music other than performance or writing. We're not all gifted in the same areas. Some write, some sing, some play musical instruments, some are sound technicians, some like to organize concerts, some like to manage bands, and the list goes on. I, for instance, don't like to sing publicly, except during congregational singing, and I'm far from performance-worthy on any of the musical instruments with which I like to dabble. I do, however, love to write and talk about music. I may not be good at it, but I'll keep on anyway. Then again, there ARE singers who don't really sing well, but had some great support on the way. Think Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger

Welcome!

Just what I need --yet another place on-line at which to write! I'm just getting started here, so if you want to see more of what I write, check "ognyen" at MySpace, or search for my yahoo address at FaceBook, or check out Geocities for ognyen. My major on-line mission is to quest for and share my findings on Christian music that transcends the sticky-sweet, second-rate, soccer-mom, cliche stereotype. I'll be back with more later.